I’m waiting for something to happen. Not sure what its gonna be but it’s gonna be big and its gonna make me forget about you and how you’ve hurt me. I’m moving forward, away from those blind dreams that never lead anywhere, but I still need that push. Something that can push me over the edge of pain and hostility and into the clouds of bliss and contentment. I need that something to happen and I know it will but the problem that has been worrying me is  how will I know when I’ve seen it? when its happened? Who I’ve passed?mand the riddle that I’ve been pondering is if its really what I think it is. when I see it, will it just be something ordinary.will it not make any difference at all.have I pushed myself into believing that it is the truth.or am I just sad enough to make myself believe my own lies.

i used to blame him for my pain. But no longer can I rest my hopes on his absence. I would be better off but the path I have chosen has meant that i have been living in my own history.

but I’m not gonna let this control my very being. I’m going to move on and I’m going to forget and if you don’t believe me.

watch me.


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